Thank-you so much for being there for me on all the crazy nights when I had forgotten to eat enough dinner before I went out and drank way too much alcohol. You were my drunken cure and such a big part of my growing up experience.
Thank-you for being so close to every apartment or house I have ever resided in.
I appreciate you being so reliable and having the same nostalgic menu items I have eaten since my Disneyland road trips I had you on when my parents were still together.
Thank-you for having such reasonable prices that this value princess could splurge on you when my wallet was crying.
My heart is broken because I have to give you up. You no longer have any meal options I can indulge in…well besides the Doritos Locos taco…which I hate. Sadly we have to break up. You have split my soul open and my heart cries every-time I see your purple underwear, I mean bell. How flamboyant of you to declare that in public. Are you suggesting that you’re are really loud? Or is it just time to ring the dinner bell?
I am going to miss you terribly. You have been one of the greatest loves of my life. And your sauce is quite literally, “everything,” and one of my greatest memories of childhood. Stop tempting me with your scrumptious and delicious sauce. Just stop. Celiac disease is a nightmare and you didn’t care enough about us sickly allergen riddled humans to create a few more menu items for us. So I deserve better and I can no longer condone feeling like a bloated, puffy, lazy psycho because I cheated with you. I have to set boundaries because I know what’s good for me and you are not it.
So now my sad broken heart will try to recreate your sauce in my beautiful kitchen with great light and I definitely won’t be using flour tortillas because that’s what you do and you are a naughty gluten ridden fast food. I highly recommend my celiac comrades to steer clear and run…. I cry inside a little bit every time I do a drive by of every corner Taco Bell store.
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